Chloe’s 100 days (100 일)

 Chloe’s 100 days falls on Valentine’s Day. This is a significant milestone in Korean culture; back in the day it marked the day when babies were no longer in a vulnerable newborn state and could now be introduced to the world outside their home.

We were trying to figure out a Korean name and once we realized, we decided to give her the name 사랑 (pronounced Sah-Lahng). It means love.

Although she can’t speak yet, I feel so much love from her. At times, I almost feel unworthy of it. She’s so innocent. She looks up to me in every way, yet unaware of all my flaws.  I’ve always struggled with self-esteem and confidence issues, but now that I’m a mother I have a more on the line when it comes to working on unhelpful thought patterns. I want to live up to her expectations of me. I try to see myself through Chloe’s eyes whenever I’m feeling vulnerable or down. She inspires me to be more kind to myself. She is loving me so well, she has no idea.

To commemorate her special 100th day, I was inspired to make something. It says “Chloe is 사랑 (pronounced sah-lahng).” The lettering itself I did with a 18 karat gold leaf marker. I decided to stamp it in a style that reflects old-school korean seals.  It says “100일 2.14.17.” 일 means day and is pronounced il. To make this mark, I used polymer clay as the stamp and watercolor as ink.

I look forward to telling her about her Korean name and how much fun I had making this for her.

If you felt something while reading, sign up for blog updates here and follow me on Medium. I will try to publish 1–2 new posts a month for now as I’m often typing with one hand in the dark while Chloe is asleep between diaper changes and feedings.

Also published on Medium.

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